This is a picture of my beautiful Dyson vacuum cleaner that Eric bought me for Christmas. It’s the purple “Animal” model. Sweet, huh? Read on.

This morning, as I was cleaning the house, I noticed that it 1) didn’t sound right and 2) wasn’t filling up. This is the second time in a row that it didn’t seem to be picking up properly. Our dog Moose is very hairy and I need the proper equipment for the job. Namely, a really good vacuum cleaner.
As I turned the vacuum upside down so I could get a good look at it, this is what I found:

GROSS! The entire beater bar (is that what you call those?) was completely wrapped in dog hair, probably half an inch thick. You can see where I cut the hair with scissors right in the middle. I had to cut and pull all of the hair out. It was disgusting.
And another picture for your viewing pleasure:

So I got to wondering…shouldn’t the vacuum cleaner be sucking this up instead of wrapping it around the bar? Of course it should! I got out my handy dandy vacuum cleaner manual and looked up the Dyson phone number. This is what the lady at Dyson told me:
1) “The ‘Animal’ model is not specifically for pets, it’s just the model name”. Which is fine, except in the commercials they say “Animal” and show dogs and cats, with a lady vacuuming. Okay. Fine. I can live with that. (But Eric probably wouldn’t have bought that specific model if he didn’t also think it was made for pet hair).
2) “The Dyson machines, by nature” (what does that even mean? Does a vacuum cleaner have a nature? I digress…) “are more maintenance”. What?! Why?! Where does it say that? Who would ever buy a vacuum cleaner that was high maintenance, especially considering how expensive they are?!
3) “We’ve received several calls about this issue and the only thing we can do at this time is suggest that you cut off the pet hair from the roller once a week or so”.
Uh…..NO. A vacuum should vacuum without any work on my part except pushing the thing and emptying the thing. Fine if I needed to clean up a part here or there every six months or so, but not once a week and especially not since that’s why I have a vacuum cleaner…for dog hair! What’s the point of having a nice vacuum cleaner if it doesn’t perform a basic function?
4) Her suggestion to fix the whole situation? “Vacuum twice. Once with the Bare Floor Setting and then again with the Carpet Setting”. You’re kidding, right? At $400, this machine should be making me dinner and it’s not even sucking up the dog hair!
Momma’s not happy.
Stay tuned for the continuing saga of Dyson Is Really a Piece of Shit, but They Are Really Pretty and Have a Great Marketing Plan!
EDITED TO ADD: These pics were from several weeks of vacuuming, not just once! That would be super gross, lol.